People do terrible things that land them in prison. Whatever happens behind the close walls of prison stays inside, it comes to no surprise that prison guards see awful things happen in prison. The job isn’t easy, as the prison cells hold the like-minded lawbreakers, inmates left on their own, create a disturbing weapon of their own to attack others. Shared on Reddit, the most disturbing prison guard stories should scare anyone into good behavior. Broken shanks, smuggled drugs, and flying feces are only the tip of the iceberg
He beat an officer to death
From user Renotss:”Once a psych patient, after placed in an observation cell, pulled a razor out of his an*s and proceeded to go to town on his genitals.
The worst by far was a seg inmate slipping his cuffs, removing an officer’s bean slot bar (a big chunk of iron with a prong on the end used to open slots in the cell doors to pass trays through / handcuff inmates), and beat him to death with it. I was one of the first responders, and quit shortly after this one.”
Prisoners shot immediately after being released
From user JFeth: “My dad is retired from the Federal Bureau of Prisons, and started out in the California prison system. There are a lot of stories that us kids didn’t find out until he was retired.
He transported inmates back to Cuba where they were promptly walked around a corner and shot and killed after they were handed over.”
He has seen a lot
I was a co at a max unit for several years. I’ll just make a list. I had a guy slice his own neck in front of me.
- Had a guy hang himself on a night we were very short. I had to stand there and wait several minutes for another person before entering the cell. We were able to save him.
- Had a guy hang himself and succeed.
- Had a guy collapse in front of me and die. He had a brain aneurysm.
- Had a guy try to connect his tattoo gun to the light. He electrocuted himself. He died.
- I’ve caught people having sex twice. Once was willingly and the other was for protection.
- I’ve been on the 3rd row and the power went out. It was pitch black for about 20 seconds. Power loss was always the scariest thing to me.
- Had a guy who had come in with a relatively minor sentence. Now serving over 100 years consecutively due to crimes he committed while incarcerated. He would attack any co he had a chance to. He was notorious for popping his door open and attacking cos.
- Had different guys try to attack the nurses occasionally. If you ever go to prison don’t so this. They’re the ones who decide if you need to go to a hospital or go back to your cell and drink water.
- Had to fight a psych patient in the back of an ambulance on transport.
- Had to sit through multiple surgeries because someone has to have eyes on the inmate at all times.
- Once I had to wrestle with an inmate when he was coming out of his anesthesia. He was out of it and freaked out.
- I have tons more but I’m on mobile and it’s a pain to type this much.
Boiled Pee At His Face
From user wareeagle3000: “My dad never told me about this let alone about him working at the prison. My mom told me about the reason why he quit however.
Dad was getting everyone back to their cells and passed by one of the cells that had already been checked, when his face was splashed by a boiling liquid. He had to be rushed to the hospital for his burns. Turns out the prison gave each cell a hotplate of some sort and a prisoner had boiled his pee and threw it at my dad’s face. After that he got out of being a prison guard and began doing blue collar work.”
This should not happen to a child
From User denalunham: “I worked in juvenile corrections. One of my kids threw a tantrum before lights out. After lots of questioning, we eventually learned that it was because one of the other kids was threatening to rape him.”
He shoved a screw in his eye
From user RoosterShield: “I had a neighbor who was a CO at a juvenile prison in my city. There was a new kid at the prison one day, he was apparently very shy and very quiet. He had the misfortune of sharing a cell with one of the more violent inmates. His second night there, his cellmate unscrewed a screw from a bench and sat on his bed in the middle of the night. When he woke up, he said “I’mma make you a pirate,” and shoved the screw into the new kid’s eye. My neighbor was the first CO to respond to the kids’ calls for help. When asked why he shoved a screw in the new kid’s eye, he claimed that he looked at him the wrong way. That’s a pretty fu**ed up situation if you ask me, and not one I’d like to deal with under any circumstances.”
People Seem To Forget Who Fred West Is
“I knew a prison guard at Winson Green in Birmingham and he said the most disturbing thing about Fred West was how jovial he was. The officers kept forgetting and laughing at his jokes and stuff and then thinking, “Erm this guy sexually tortured his own daughter and buried her in concrete”
The Guy Who Has Seen It All
Oh boy here we go
- The first fight I responded to was a stabbing. Trying to contain that situation with nothing more than OC spray and gloves was a pretty grim welcoming to corrections.
- I try not to look at their charges because I find it hard to treat them the same after I find out that they are a violent sex offender. Almost every time an inmate is polite and seems like a decent enough person I end up hearing their case in the news and it is 9/10 sex charges.
- I saw a guy who slipped in the bathroom have his hip come completely out of his socket and his leg came out at a ridiculous angle.
- Trying to have a conversation with someone and deescalate them when you can hardly see them because so many feces has been spread over the window.
- During a strip search, an inmate used his hands to make his butt cheeks say “excuse me sir, but do you have a breath mint?”
- But by far the most disturbing thing is the complete lack of accountability. 90% of these guys have convinced themselves that they are the victims and have done no wrong. Never accountable for anything and have a sense of entitlement that is more frustrating than anything to deal with than any other aspect of my job.
Jail is not made for him
“One of my old roommates worked in the county jail. He came home one day with a stone face so I asked him how work was. All he said was “I saw a guy eat his shampoo because he couldn’t shower…then uncontrollably puke and shit himself…that’s how my day went.
Jail….not for me”
Not a normal Easter Celebration
From user Xofthecourts: “My dad used to work as a CO, and he would never tell me any stories about his time there until one day of constant badgering he told me the tale of the Easter surprise.
On Easter morning one of the inmates thought it would be a brilliant idea to get completely naked and shove a toilet scrubber all the way up his a** so the only part visible was his bristled ‘bunny tail.’ He then proceeded to scream that he was the Easter bunny while trying to hop around and avoid the oncoming guards.”
They Examined him with Water Bottle
From User Cleaborg: “An inmate who was infamous for packing drugs in his rectum came in and completed his dry cell stint in segregation. Other inmates didn’t believe him when he told them he didn’t have any drugs on him this time, so they decided to check for themselves. They accomplished this with a Dasani water bottle enema.”
What State Prison Is like?
From user wheylord: “I worked for a State prison in Louisiana for five years. A few highlights:
- Inmate ripped his own colostomy bag out in the shower, which resulted in his death.
- Inmate attempted to cut his own penis off because he no longer wanted to be a male. Changed his mind halfway through after pain became too much.
- Inmate heated coffee and baby oil in a cup for several minutes then threw in dorm officers’ faces. I will never forget the screams of the officer, who unfortunately lost his eye.
- An inmate was raped so much he could no longer control his bowel movements.
Seeing An Infamous Shooter
From user Gness990: “Not really disturbing in a traditional sense, but still made me uncomfortable. I’m a CO at the Denver complex for the department of corrections. Seeing James Holmes, the Aurora Theater shooter, comes through our processing after getting sentenced. I’d seen this man’s face and heard the stories for two years on TV. But seeing him person just slapped me in the face with a weird sense of reality. I don’t really know what I expected, but it was pretty disturbing to me personally. If that doesn’t count, then seeing an offender hanging from a sheet in their cell.”
A Hostage situation
From user diedster: “My uncle had been a prison guard for 10 years. He has seen countless things, but there was one thing that has always stuck with his mind.
A little background information: my uncle is a chill guy, the kind of dude that would give inmates more minutes on the phone to call with their wife, provide them with a little extra comfort when they had it dire (think solitary confinement) and was overall a human among imprisoned humans. This, of course, made him gain respect from the inmates, as he treated them like humans.
However, in his last year, he substituted for one of his colleagues one night and that was when shit went crazy. Five inmates had very carefully planned out a break out, which required a hostage. As they had some respect for my uncle they didn’t want to do it it to him and therefore specifically chose a day that he wouldn’t be there. But yeah, they wanted to break out anyway and if you set something in motion, you can’t stop a rollercoaster when it has already started going down.
So they took him hostage and one of the inmates said while holding a gun to my uncle’s head: ‘You aren’t supposed to be here, why the f*ck are you here?’My uncle was shocked, quite logical if you ask me, and the other inmates made a run for it. However, two of them (the hostage-taker) were shot in the knee and that is when the inmates stopped the escape.
Uncle made it out alive, had two paid weeks of and went on a de-traumatizing holiday with wife.”
Whatever he can get his hands on
From user BritDontCare: I work closely with all the prisons in the state. There’s one notorious inmate who likes to jerk off and throw his semen in everyone’s face…fellow inmates, guards, it doesn’t matter. He’s not strict to semen, sometimes piss and shit, just whatever he can get his hands on.
A Poocasso doesn’t seem all that bad.”
From HeyDep: “When I used to work in a jail, I initially thought people covering themselves and their cells in feces was as bad as it ever got.
Then one of the inmates in my partner’s cell block had a miscarriage into the toilet and smeared the afterbirth all over the cell door. Suddenly, a Poocasso doesn’t seem all that bad.”