Laugh Out Loud: 150 Best Dad Jokes That Will Make Your Day

Dad jokes – we’ve all heard them, groaned at them, and secretly loved them. They’re the cheesy, pun-filled one-liners that dads everywhere seem to have an endless supply of. But why are dad jokes so popular? Perhaps it’s the harmless, silly nature of these jokes that makes them so endearing. Or maybe it’s the fact that they can make even the most serious person crack a smile. Whatever the reason, there’s no denying that dad jokes have become a staple in our culture.

In this article, we’ve compiled a list of the 150 best dad jokes that are guaranteed to make you laugh out loud. From classic one-liners to silly puns, these jokes will have you rolling your eyes and shaking your head in amusement. But dad jokes aren’t just for dads – we’ll also show you how to use them in your daily life to add a little humor and joy to your interactions with others. So sit back, relax, and get ready to chuckle your way through our list of the 150 best dad jokes ever.

150 best dad jokes ever

Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be a chicken sedan.
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What do you call a snobbish criminal going down stairs? A condescending con descending.
Why do bees hum? Because they don’t know the words.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
What did the left eye say to the right eye? Between us, something smells.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have tiny ant-bodies.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
Why can’t you trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
Why did the man run around his bed? To catch up on his sleep.
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
Why did the tomato turn yellow? Because it saw the banana peel.
What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.
Why do seagulls live near the sea? Because if they lived near the bay, they’d be called bagels.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
What do you call a man who can’t stand? Neil.
What do you call a cow that just gave birth? De-calf-inated.
What did one toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
Why don’t ghosts use elevators? Because they lift their spirits.
Why don’t oysters give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
Why don’t ghosts go to the beach? They don’t like the sand in their sheet.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because it felt crummy.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no eye deer.
Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash.
What do you call a bear that’s lost all its teeth? A gummy bear.
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
Why did the man put his money in the oven? He wanted to have hot dough.
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? A receding hare-line.
Why don’t oysters give to charity? They’re shellfish.
Why was the belt sent to jail? For holding up the pants.
Why was the sand wet? Because the seaweed.
I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator.
What do you call a singing laptop? A Dell.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
Why did the scarecrow go on a vacation? To get some straw-berries.
What do you call a monkey in a suit? The ape-ril fool.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
What do you call a cow that’s just given birth? De-calf-inated.
Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.
Why don’t ghosts use elevators? They lift their spirits.
Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
What do you call a can that can’t? A could-a.
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
What do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador.
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? They’re shellfish.
What do you call a bear that has no ears? B.
Why do fish live in saltwater? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a cow? Frosty the Dairyman.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a wolf? Frostbite.
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
What do you call a snowman with a sunburn? A puddle.
Why did the tomato turn green? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What do you call a cow that plays an instrument? A moosician.
What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.
What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the water? Bob.
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a trampoline and a well-dressed man on a trampoline? Attire.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
Why did the chicken join the seance? To talk to the other side.
Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days? They just seem a little shady.
Why did the bicycle fall asleep? Because it was two-tired.
Why don’t ants get sick? They have tiny ant-bodies.
What do you call a dog that does magic tricks? A labracadabrador.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
What do you call a group of cows playing instruments? A moo-sical.
Why don’t seagulls fly by the bay? Because then they would be bagels.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why did the belt go to jail? For holding up the pants.
What do you call a snowman in the desert? A puddle.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
Why don’t dogs make good dancers? Because they have two left feet.
What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An investigator.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why don’t ants get sick? They have tiny ant-bodies.
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
Why do bicycles fall over? Because they’re two-tired.
Why don’t vampires go to barbecues? They don’t like stakes.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.
What do you call a group of cows playing instruments? A moo-sical.
Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before going to the beach? Because they might peel.
What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer.
Why did the tomato turn green? Because it saw the salad dressing.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Why did the pencil go to the doctor? It needed a pencil-ectomy.
Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
Why did the man run around his bed? To catch up on his sleep.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
Why can’t you trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
Why did the tomato turn yellow? Because it saw the banana peel.
Why do seagulls live near the sea? Because if they lived near the bay, they’d be called bagels.
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
Why don’t ghosts use elevators? Because they lift their spirits.
Why don’t oysters give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
Why did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
Why don’t ghosts go to the beach? They don’t like the sand in their sheet.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because it felt crummy.
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
Why did the man put his money in the oven? He wanted to have hot dough.
Why was the belt sent to jail? For holding up the pants.
Why was the sand wet? Because of the seaweed.
Why did the scarecrow go on a vacation? To get some straw-berries.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
What do you call a can that can’t? A could-a.
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? “Supplies!”
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash.
Why do ants never get sick? Because they have tiny ant-bodies.
Why do seagulls live near the sea? Because if they lived near the bay, they’d be called bagels.
What do you call a man who can’t stand? Neil.
What did one toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
Why did the tomato turn yellow? Because it saw the banana peel.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
Why don’t oysters give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.